Spring 1905 - Results

No retreats this round.  Moves for Fall 1905 will be due by midnight Thursday.

MOVES:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY

Vienna -> Tyrolia

Budapest -> Vienna

Serbia -> Romania (bounce)

Bulgaria Holds

Constantinople S Stevastopol -> Black Sea

ENGLAND

Liverpool -> Irish Sea

MAO -> Spain SC

Portugal S MAO -> Spain SC

North Africa -> Western Med. (bounce)

Norway -> St. Petersburg

Barents Sea -> Norwegian Sea

Sweden -> Gulf of Bothnia

GERMANY

English Channel -> MAO

Brest -> Gascony

Paris S Brest -> Gascony

Burgandy -> Marseilles

Munich -> Burgandy

Denmark -> Kiel

Warsaw -> Silesia

Bohemia S Ukraine -> Galicia

ITALY

Trieste S Vienna -> Tyrolia

Smyrna Holds

Greece Holds

Naples -> Ionian Sea

Rome -> Tyrhennian Sea

Western Med. C Spain -> Tunisia

Spain -> Tunisia

Gascony -> Paris (unit destroyed)

Army Group FT -> Piedmont

RUSSIA

Galicia -> Warsaw

Ukraine -> Galicia

Romania Holds

Stevastopol -> Black Sea

TURKEY

Black Sea -> Ankara

Spring 1905 Countdown

All countries have submitted moves.  Stay tuned for the results.

Life Imitates Diplomacy

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/28/world/europe/28russia.html?hp

Email from Matt: "Look into your heart!"

What heart?

1904 - Winter Adjustment

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY destroys A-Albania.

ENGLAND builds F-Liverpool.

GERMANY builds A-Munich.

ITALY has expressed a wish to have his winter adjustment communique printed in full.  Here it is:

"Ankara retreats off the board and is reincarnated in the form of

Army Group FT (Fuck Tony) in Venice

I also build Fleets in Naples and Rome ... for immediate deployment in Leo's face."

RUSSIA destroys F-St. Petersburg and F-Baltic Sea.

TURKEY destroys F-Ankara.

Fall 1904 - Retreats

ITALY disbands A-Ankara

RUSSIA retreats F-Sweden -> Baltic Sea

Winter adjustments will be due by midnight tomorrow.

Fall 1904 - Results

Retreats will be due by midnight Saturday.  Winter adjustments will be due by midnight Sunday.

MOVES:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY

Vienna S Budapest (support cut)

Budapest S Vienna (support cut)

Serbia S Budapest

Aegean Sea -> Constantinople

Bulgaria S Aegean Sea -> Constantinople

Albania S Serbia

ENGLAND

Skagerrak -> Sweden

Norway S Skagerrak -> Sweden

Barents Sea -> St. Petersburg NC (bounce)

MAO -> North Africa

Irish Sea -> MAO

Portugal S Irish Sea -> MAO

GERMANY

North Sea -> English Channel

Brest -> Gascony (bounce)

Belgium -> Burgundy

Paris S Belgium -> Burgandy

Bohemia -> Vienna (bounce)

Silesia -> Warsaw

Kiel -> Denmark

ITALY

Ankara S Aegean Sea -> Constantinople (support cut, unit dislodged)

Smyrna S Aegean Sea -> Constantinople

Trieste S Vienna

Greece S Bulgaria

Marseilles -> Gascony

Spain S Marseilles -> Gascony

Western Med. S Spain

RUSSIA

Sweden -> Norway (unit dislodged, must retreat)

St. Petersburg NC S Sweden -> Norway (support cut)

Galicia -> Vienna (bounce)

Romania -> Budapest (bounce)

Ukraine S Romania

Stevastopol S Romania

TURKEY

Constantinople -> Ankara

Black Sea S Constantinople -> Ankara

RETREATS:

ITALY must either retreat Ankara to Armenia, or disband the unit.

RUSSIA must either retreat Sweden to Finland, Gulf of Bothnia or Baltic Sea, or disband the unit.

WINTER ADJUSTMENTS:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY controls the following supply centers:  Budapest, Vienna, Serbia, Bulgaria, Constantinople (5 total).  Austria-Hungary must destroy 1 unit.

ENGLAND controls the following supply centers:  Liverpool, Edinburgh, London, Norway, Belgium, Portugal, Sweden (7 total).  England may build 1 unit.

GERMANY controls the following supply centers: Berlin, Munich, Kiel, Holland, Denmark, Paris, Brest, Warsaw (8 total).  Germany may build 1 unit.

ITALY controls the following supply centers: Rome, Venice, Naples, Tunisia, Marseilles, Spain, Smyrna, Trieste, Greece (9 total).  Italy may build 2 units.

RUSSIA controls the following supply centers:  Moscow, Stevastopol, St. Petersburg, Romania (4 total).  Russia must destroy 2 units.

TURKEY controls the following supply centers:  Ankara (1 total).  Turkey must destroy 1 unit.

Fall 1904 Countdown

All countries have submitted moves.  Stay tuned for the results.

Gwah Gwah Gwah...

Dun jeebah co datta nada

Translation: I'm not as bad as I seem.

Cow dut ca wa wookie

Translation: I love centers for free

Boolaka greh to chat

Translation: Lets all let tom win and give in to despair.

Thanks for the help jabba, I only hope others see the light as well.

Consider the Turkey... done.

Personally, I think it's kind of funny that my country is named Turkey because it's my goose that's cooked!

It's been a pleasure playing with you all; try not to fight too hard over my corpse.

Now I'm taking auditions

I'm taking auditions for a puppet government. I thought the person with the most experience with puppets, Bill, would like to try out. Now I know your only familiar with with working the strings, but I assure you, being the puppet is really quite easy. I just send you your moves every week, and you do exactly as I say. Now doesn't that seem fun? What do you say Bill? I'd treat you real nice. And maybe if your good, I'll let one of your units stay on the board until the end of the game, so you can really feel like your still in it.

Spring 1904 - An Illustrated History

SELF-SACRIFICE IS MY MIDDLE NAME

Contrary to widespread and well-founded suspicions that I care only about myself, I do (occasionally) help other people, when it is convenient for me to do so and requires no serious effort on my part. In lieu of fighting a long war with Tony and Damian, I have decided to vacate my supply centers and transfer them to Tom, who I know will put them to good use in combating Tony's Teutonic Treachery. This sacrifice on my part should also partially redress the skewed balance of power created by Craig's early-game absenteeism.

You're welcome.

FOOL ME TWICE ...

LEO: Greetings, Tony! Now if I remember correctly, you skunked me once before.

TONY: You bet I did.

LEO: So, why should I trust you again?

TONY: You shouldn't trust me. I am a skunk.

LEO: Verily! But just to make absolutely sure that I can't trust you, I'm going to trust you once more. Will you promise not to skunk me again?

TONY: No.

LEO: Good enough! (sniffs) Wait a minute ...

Spring 1904 - Results

No retreats this round.  Moves for Fall 1904 will be due by midnight Friday.

MOVES:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY

Vienna -> Tyrolia (bounce)

Trieste -> Albania

Budapest Holds

Serbia S Budapest

Bulgaria -> Constantinople (bounce)

Aegean Sea S Bulgaria -> Constantinople

ENGLAND

English Channel -> MAO

Portugal S English Channel -> MAO

Norway -> Sweden (bounce)

Skagerrak S Norway -> Sweden

Norwegian Sea -> Barents Sea

Liverpool -> Irish Sea

GERMANY

Brest Holds

Gascony -> Paris

Ruhr -> Belgium

Helgoland Bight -> North Sea

Bohemia -> Tyrolia (bounce)

Silesia -> Bohemia (bounce)

Munich -> Kiel

ITALY

Smyrna -> Ankara

Eastern Med. -> Smyrna

Ionian Sea -> Greece

Venice -> Trieste

Marseilles S Spain

Spain Holds

Western Med. -> MAO (bounce)

RUSSIA

Sweden -> Norway (bounce)

St. Petersburg NC S Sweden -> Norway

Galicia S Romania -> Budapest

Romania -> Budapest (bounce)

Ukraine S Romania

Stevastopol S Romania

TURKEY

Constantinople -> Bulgaria SC (bounce)

Black Sea S Constantinople -> Bulgaria SC

Diplomacy will resume tonight

Gentlemen,

Thank you all for your patience. As some of you already know, my grandmother passed away last week, and that has sapped my interest in this game. I will, however, play through -- not to win, that time appears to have passed -- but to keep things interesting. Results for Spring 1904 will be posted by midnight tonight.

As for Tom's request that we all abase ourselves for his amusement: I quote Han Solo, who said what any self-respecting man would say in this position: "You tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth, he'll get no such pleasure out of us."

WBG

You are not unattractive or unloveable because if I was gay, well we won't go there, but you get the idea

Basically we've got Italy, Russia, Germany and England that stand a chance. We find ourselves in a similar situation to the KKK of Alaska where as there is only one black guy in the whole state, Bill, and we have got to get him. However England can't join in and is just playing up north by himself like what's going on down there guys? Now here is where you come in Italy, your domination of the whole Mediterranean has put you in a position to continue that and with my help we can squeeze out Austria. Your gains will be all of the land bordering the Mediterranean that you do not already control, such as Turkey, Trieste and Portugal. My gains will the the lands in northern Austria. Also with my help England will be tied up wasting more turns and units against me allowing you access to his poorly guarded centers. I guess the main thesis here is that together we can squeeze everyone and push up into the heart of the map once we all wipe away Bill because eventually you have to hit the guy with glasses.

I have a dream...

I have a dream that one day we will march together into the valley of rich and plenty.  We will briefly put aside our plans of world conquest and march hand in hand with any nation that will go with us.

I have a dream that the victor of the last game shall not (nor be given a chance to) be victor once again.  We have lived in shame of our past failures long enough.  We have had our shame rubbed in our faces with beautifully illustrated photoshop images for the last time.  It is time to throw down the chains of bondage that our neighbor has shackled us in.  

I have a dream that we will kill Bill.  That his 6 centers can be divided fairly between all interest parties.  I ask only for Vienna.  To Russia, who I am sure will march with us, I say Budapest and Bulgaria are his spoils.  And to the pimp daddy, we give the sugar of Trieste, Serbia, and Greece.

I have a dream that this game end much quicker than the last game.  If Bill is kept alive, and you align with him, we are looking ahead to a long drawn out game.  Do you want us to sit on the stalemate lines?  Besides aren't all of our chances of victory greatly multiplied with Austria out of the picture?  Let us unify under a common cause.  Let us work together.  Let us get even.

I have a dream a dream today

 

Consider the Turkey

Dearest Italy,

You've currently got your foot on my neck, it's true: but do you really want Turkey for dinner when you could be having Gulash?

A) I'm weak so you've got nothing to fear.
B) It might take you 3 or 4 turns to take my current positions... but you can have them NOW if you choose me.
C) I blame my brother.

Sincerely,
Sultan Barnard the Subpar

Pimpin ain't easy

I knew I was unattractive and perhaps unloveable, but this is ridiculous. I whore myself out for centers or help and this is the thanks the Italians get! Not one blasted post kissing my ass and making a proposal. For shame. shame on all of you.

I eagerly await official posts by Thursday night, anything not posted by midnight then will not be considered in my decision. Should no one make a play, I will be forced to cause neutral mayhem by disrupting as many moves as possible and nobody wants that...

A brief break in the action

I would like to propose a week long break in the game.  It seems that times are busy for everyone with various obligations and serious family matters.  This being just a game and just for fun, we can pick it up again when life slows down again.  So I will make the executive call and say moves for the spring of 1904 will now be due Friday Aug 15th, or a later date if need be.  Thank you all, and sorry for any inconveniences.  

1903 - Winter Adjustment

My apologies for the delay.  Not a good time for me.  Also, I made a mistake in the last map; England's Portugal unit is a fleet, not an army.  (Of course it would be a fleet, as our scholar in residence appears to believe that it's possible to win this game without armies on the continent.  Pardon the editorializing.)

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY builds A-Trieste.

ENGLAND builds F-Liverpool.

FRANCE destroys F-Picardy.

GERMANY builds A-Munich.

ITALY builds A-Venice.

TURKEY destroys F-Ankara.

Italy for Sale

Well three long years have passed, and while I always enjoy Bill's photo shop posts, it's been some time since another nation stirred the pot of controversy.

The game has been dramatically different from the last incarnation of itself, and tensions are high.

In the West:

France's apathy, stupidity, and surprising lack of involvment has skewed the balance of power as the situation in the west appears to be settling along stalemate lines. Germany grabbed a lion's share of the centers, with Italy coming in second and England dominating the coasts with only a paltry number of centers to show for their complicity.

In the East:

Germany and Russia continue their pressure, at first indirect, but now very overt, against the Dual Monarchy. Bill, last game's winner, has already survived past the point many of us had predicted for him. Turkey was carved up after a single turn destroyed two of her units and a back door convoy ended hope for the viability of her survival.

In the north:

A tension hangs over the baltic as Russia, Germany and England seem to have settled into a stalemate over the scandanavian supply centers.

With the "Tri-partide pact" having completed it's term (Germany violating it early) and Italy and Austria remaining cooperative, we have reached an impass in this game.

Which leads me to the reason for the title of this post:

At no point, despite all my scheming and talk to the contrary did I attack an ally's supply center, or support someone else's units in an attack against them. Geographically I am in a position to aid several different people. I have been, for this game at least, a dependable and trustworthy ally for 6 turns(mostly). And I am looking for another deal. With whom remains to be seen. And so, like the Joker in "The Dark Knight" I am "holding auditions" Any attack on me is either, costly for the parties involved, with little gained, or impossible due to obstacles of geography and the positions of my units. This means that I am the ally of choice for several people who have been courting me. I can, with the right friend(s) tip the game in a new direction.

And so I am putting Italy up for sale. In the Sicilian tradition, we'll see who can make the best case. This is open to everyone, and the winner will be clear based on my moves in the spring of this upcoming year. Don't send me private emails, I want your case to be public. You should be offering both a short term and long term description of what you feel our cooperation would make the board look like and the benefits for both of us. Bias, stereotypes and hatred may be included in your post. Feel free to bad mouth and trash talk other players.

Let's see who has the best plan for the future....

Post away, and may the most convicing litigator win.

As Obama would say "change, change, change.....change.....changity change change."

Fall 1903 - Results

There are no retreats this round, so winter adjustments will be due by midnight Wednesday.  Moves for Spring 1904 will be due by midnight Saturday.

MOVES:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY

Trieste -> Vienna

Galicia -> Romania (unit destroyed)

Budapest S Galicia -> Romania

Serbia S Galicia -> Romania

Bulgaria Holds

Aegean Sea S Bulgaria

ENGLAND

Norway -> Sweden (bounce)

Skagerrak S Norway -> Sweden

North Sea -> Norwegian Sea

English Channel S Paris -> Brest

Portugal Holds

FRANCE

Brest S Picardy (unit destroyed)

Picardy S Brest

GERMANY

Paris -> Brest

Gascony S Paris -> Brest

Holland -> Helgoland Bight

Munich -> Silesia

Bohemia S Warsaw -> Galicia

Kiel -> Ruhr

ITALY

Syria -> Smyrna

Eastern Med. S Syria -> Smyrna

Ionian Sea Holds

Piedmont -> Marseilles

Spain S Piedmont -> Marseilles

Western Med. S Spain

RUSSIA

St. Petersburg S Sweden -> Norway

Sweden -> Norway

Warsaw -> Galicia

Ukraine S Romania

Stevastopol S Romania

Romania S Constantinople -> Bulgaria SC (support cut)

TURKEY

Ankara -> Constantinople (bounce)

Constantinople -> Bulgaria SC

Black Sea S Constantinople -> Bulgaria SC (illegal move, unit does not share coastline)

WINTER ADJUSTMENTS:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY controls the following supply centers: Budapest, Vienna, Trieste, Serbia, Greece, Bulgaria (6 total).  Austria-Hungary may build 1 unit.

ENGLAND controls the following supply centers: Liverpool, Edinburgh, London, Norway, Belgium, Portugal (6 total).  England may build 1 unit.

FRANCE does not control any supply centers.  France must destroy his last remaining unit.

GERMANY controls the following supply centers: Berlin, Munich, Kiel, Holland, Denmark, Paris, Brest (7 total).  Germany may build 1 unit.

ITALY controls the following supply centers: Rome, Venice, Naples, Tunisia, Marseilles, Spain,  Smyrna (7 total).  Italy may build 1 unit.

RUSSIA controls the following supply centers: Moscow, Warsaw, Stevastopol, St. Petersburg, Sweden, Romania (6 total).  Russia neither builds nor destroys units.

TURKEY controls the following supply centers: Constantinople, Ankara (2 total).  Turkey must destroy 1 unit.