Happy Holidays

Final Results - Spring 1905

The abortion gone wrong that was the spring of 1905 has come to a close

France retreats from Beligum to Picardy

Russia retreats from Rumania to Ukraine

The Italian unit has been moved to where it is supposed to be. (apologies for the mistake)

This Map is the most current now available, happy hunting folks.

Since at least one person has voted to NOT continue to write moves during the break I am inclined to put things on hold until the New Year.

Merry Christmas folks, enjoy this holiday card.

A modest proposal

The last several posts have been entertaining. I know hatred and mistrust of me is widespread. But I am the austrians. and Frankly, there is a reason their country doesn't exist anymore. Hate on Haters.

A question: do we want to keep submitting moves through the break or do people have better things to do than waste their time posting on this blog. I am not insulted to submit my vote. I would enjoy continuing to waste my time. Please check out the new poll, something that is actually being used for a real purpose this time.

For your viewing pleasure: Every invasion of Russia to date has been a success, ask Napoleon, Hitler, the Mongols, the Turks and Rambo. My troops have been nice enough to send some photos from the front, I sent them a free barrell of scnapps for their trouble. I'm sure they won't even need winter uniforms.

Operation "Return To Sender"

It's fun to dream, isn't it?

Quick Clarification

While I'm sure this was an unintentional error on the Arch Duke's part, I'd like to fix a mistake on the board. One of my moves last turn was: Venice -> Piedmont. Tom listed this correctly in the moves below the map but has accidentally moved my army from Venice to Tyrolia.

In other news, for those who didn't bother to read all of the Czar's diatribe, here's a highlight:

"Sorry about the treachery."

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

The Updated Map

The map has been updated*

*Disclaimer, this is the Russian Interpretation of the map. Please read the next post. All will become clear.

This game is never going to end!

Please stand by for a message from Russia's Supreme General, the always honorable Mike Tyson.

But first, I am going to make a statement. I'd like to share some exerts from my will, which will probably be read in the next few weeks. Or at least I hope so. I leave to my dear friends in the north, England, a steaming pile of dog shit, because you will gain nothing from me. To Germany, I leave the keys to the Russian Castle. I know that the only thing that would completely piss Tom off would be letting Larry back into the game when he was on the brink of extermination. To France, I leave you a promise that I will conduct a sit down between you and Italy so you could be at peace, and continue fighting your respective foes. To Italy, I'd like to give you some advice, you trusted Tom before, and see where it got you. Trust him now, and see where it gets you. Also, I'd like to discuss your relations with France. Oh, and one more thing, what the fuck are you doing with the fleet in the Aegean? What a waste of a unit. It might as well be an Austrian fleet. I'm putting up an updated map after I'm done with this, special for you Criag. To Turkey I leave Stevastopol and the Black Sea. Tom wants you dead. Now I want you alive. If anything, just to eat him up inside. Sorry about the treachery. And lastly, to the Archduke. What can I say that no one else has said to you? May Larry inherit the world. You'll get no more than Rumania. I'm going to let every other country into my boarders (besides England, they can eat shit), let them run through the Russian interior like cancer. Then, I'll laugh when Italy marches into Trieste this turn. that is all I'll share now.

All the unpleasantness aside, have a nice Christmas and New Years everyone.

And now, Iron Mike.

"I just want to conquer people and their souls."

Thanks Mike.

This game is never going to end

A Tribute to Tom Mullane: Arch-Traitor, Chief Strategist, Devourer of Children's Dreams, and the Wind Beneath My Wings

And a very Merry Christmas as well to Tony and Damian, my erstwhile allies. Keep 'em flying!

I hate you guys

This is how I feel right now.

A Declaration of Independance

For those still staring at the computer dumbstruck, here is an excerpt from the email I sent to Italy and England.

" Call to Arms,For too long, the nations of the west and east have oppressed the nations of the not so west and not so east. This must be halted at all costs. The Austrian Government proposes a Grand Allaince to stave off this impending threat to our national soverignity. I propose that the nations of Italy, Austria, and England enter into an elaborate plan of coordinated destruction upon our nefarious enemies the Russians and the French. Everyone in this game has been wronged. Some more then others. It is time to ignore the petty strife of our times and come together to fight for a common cause. Life, Liberty, Supply Centers and the destruction of Damian's inept nation. I also have no desire to see another Tony Martin Email that makes no sense. (you can trust me until you can't....and then I am untrustable, unless you have a better offer? which I will not listen to anyway. Please submit your offer. I will not not not read it.)

We the People of these united nations, outnumbered, besieged and alone have joined together in the spirit of fraternity and vengeance. We formally declare war on the Russian and French Empires.

We propose the following surrender terms to our adversaries:

- The withdrawl of all Russian units from Scadanavian supply centers to be occupied by the English and Germans

-The acceptance of English "Peacekeepers" in Brest and Paris

-Italian Colonial administration of the Iberian Penninsula as well as the internationalizing of the port of Marsailles (the following countries will be permitted: Italy.)

-An Austrian military government will rule the Kremlin (Moscow, Warsaw and Sevastapol

-All units will withdraw from Turkish Supply centers and issue a formal apology for a horrible photoshop job on Owen's picture.

REPARATIONS

-You will allow the Archduke to have one night with the Russian crown princess. A movie and popcorn followed by a light dinner. TO BE PAID FOR BY THE RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT.

-The French will Burn all artwork created during the post-impressionist period and allow hoboes to sleep in the Louvre.

An Interpretation of the results

In the north, English gains appear to coincide with a perfect encyclopedic knowledge of French and Russian moves. Germany has decided to go on a suicide mission with old men and hitler youth to attack the Russians in Moscow. Good luck guys, safe trip. Italy also seemed to move with an unbridled confidence, and all her predictions about French moves came true as well. Stunning. Austria and Italy demonstrate an enormous amount of trust and launch a combined arms attack on the Russians and the French.

The game has clearly taken a turn for the surreal. All 7 players remain more than 6 moves into the game, unheard of. It is a testament to your skill as beginning players, our total lack of trustworthyness and my unparalleled ability to be unconciousanably evil. What will the Fall bring, only time can tell. Feel free to vent your frustration and anger through all the necessary and public channels available.

Retreats are due by Sunday - I will place a new poll, to see if people want to continue submitting moves over the break or if we want to pause until after the new year. please give me feedback.

Results Spring 1905 - Retreats Needed

All units marked with others over them need to post retreats. Except for Ankara...which is retreated off the board.

Moves Listed Below:

Austria -

Budapest -> Rumania
Bulgaria S Budapest -> Rumania
Vienna -> Gallicia
Trieste -> Serbia
Tyrolia -> Bohemia

Turkey -

Constantinople -> Ankara
Smyrna S Constantinople -> Ankara

Italy -

TYR -> GOL
WMED S TYR -> GOL
Rome ->Tuscany
Venice -> Piedmont
Greece - AGN

Russia -

StPetersburg (nc) ->Norway (bounce)
Norway -> NS (bounce)
Sweden -> Skag (bounce cuts support)
Silesia ->Prussia (bounce)
Sevastapol ->Armenia
Rumania S Bulgaria (support cut)
BLK -> Constantinople
Ankara -> Smryna (bounce, unit dislodged and retreated off the board)

Germany -

Kiel -> Baltic Sea
Berlin -> Prussia (bounce)

France -
Marsailles ->Spain
GOL Holds (dislodged must retreat)
Paris -> Burgandy
Munich S Holland -> Kiel
Belgium -> Holland (bounce, unit dislodged and must retreat)
Brest -> MAO
ENG S Norway -> NS


England -
London -> Belgium
Holland S London -> Belgium
NS Convoys London -> Belgium
Skag S NS (support cut)
Den S NS

This is how elves roll.

Bitches, please.

The Most Wonderful time of the year

Since this is craig's busy season, we won't rush him. But he is trying my patience. Processing is on hold until I hear from Craig..

Current Information

Leading up to the Spring of 1905 here is the situation

The following countries have submitted moves:

Austria, Russia, Turkey, France, England, Germany

I need:

Italy

They are due at end of day tommorow. (tuesday) I will be helping with auditions so i may not process until wednesday.

Builds are in for the Fall....

Moves due Tuesday next week, lets try and squeeze in another before the break (if that's possible)

Builds and Adjustments:

Italy Builds army Rome

Russia Builds Fleet NC StPeters and Army Sevastapol

Austria Builds Army Budapest

France Builds Army Paris and Fleet Brest

England Destroys Army Yorkshire

Germany Destroys Army Ruhr

Turkey Destroys Fleet Armenia

Enjoy

Retreats are in

Here are the retreats.

England Retreats From Norway to Skaggerakt

Italy Retreats his army off the board (an interesting and intelligent tactical decision. Italy now has one build.)

I have builds/adjustments from the following nations...none of which will be made public until they are all submitted. You have until tommorow if you haven't done so already.

I have: Italy, Russia, Austria (posted on the board as I have no other choices) England and Germany.

I need: French Builds and Turkish combustions

Moves will occur over the weekend? due tuesday?

Austrian Interlopers

Little Tommy Two Step certainly does talk a good game. He sidles up to you, starts whispering serpentine fantasies in your ear, gains your trust, and then stabs you in the back...or the front, as the case may be.

It had to come someday...

Well folks the time is rapidly approaching, and it seems I may take my bow out before Larry is finished off. But only time will tell for sure. It's been fun, but I will still be available as consiglieri to any one who wishes to seek my counsel. Until then, lets hope for a continuation of the backstabbing bloodbath that has kept us so wonderfully diverted from reality.

Pictured below:

The Frisco Kid, telling me he will support me in Bulgaria, but in reality he is breaking my heart...

This is Turkish D'Light, signing off.

Retreats Fall 1904

Before we can submit builds, we need to have England and Italy post their retreats. Please email me by end of day tuesday so I can do that, and we can all submit builds accordingly.

Once I've posted the new information about the positions, we can submit secret build and destroy orders which are processed at the same time.

For future information:

England currently controls: Edinborough, London, Liverpool, Denmark, Holland

England must disband a unit

Russia currently controls: Norway, Sweden, Stpeters, Warsaw, Sevastapol, Moscow, Rumania, Ankara

Russia may build 2 new units

Turkey currently controls: Constantinople and Smyrna

Turkey must destroy 2 units

Austria currently controls: Vienna, Budapest, Trieste, Serbia, Bulgaria

Austria may build one unit

Italy controls: Venice, Rome, Naples, Tunia, Greece

Italy has no builds

France Controls: Paris, Brest, Marsialles, Spain, Portugal, Belgium

France may build 2 units

Germany controls: Berlin and Keil

Germany must destroy 1 unit

Builds do not need to be submitted until people know where the retreats are.

Results Fall 1904

England -

Edinborough -> York

London Holds

Norway Holds (dislodged must retreat)

Kiel -> Holland

NS supports Keil -> Holland

Denmark -> Kiel (bounce)

France-

Paris -> Belgium

EC supports Paris -> Belgium

Burgandy -> Munich

GOL holds

Spain -> Marsailles

Germany

Munich -> Ruhr

Helgolandbight -> Kiel

Berlin Supports Helgolandbight-> Kiel

Beliguim -> Holland (dislodged and retreated off the board)

Russia

Stpeters -> Norway

Sweden Supports Stptrs to Norway

Silesia Supports Burgandy -> Munich

Const -> Ankara

BlackSea Supports Const -> ANkara

Rumania Supports Serbia -> Bulgaria

Italy

Tyrolia -> Munich (bounce)

Venice Holds

Greece Holds

Tunis -> Western Med

Tyr -> GOL (bounce)

Turkey

Smyrna Supports Aegean -> Const

Aegean -> Const

Bulgaria supports Aegean ->Const (cut, dislodged, retreats off the board)

Ankara -> Black Sea (bounce) - note: a unit may not cut support in an attack against itself

Austria

Trieste -> Tyrolia

Vienna supports Treiste -> Tyrolia

Budapest -> trieste

Serbia -> Bulgaria