A Tribute to Tony and Leo

A poor likeness to be sure, but I tried. I'm an idea man, Bill's the real artist. But none of those skills have translated into victory in this game.

Spring 1907 - Results

No retreats this round.  Moves for Fall 1907 will be due this Friday by midnight.

MOVES:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY

Tyrolia -> Vienna

ENGLAND

Moscow -> Stevastopol (bounce)

St. Petersburg -> Livonia

Norway -> St. Petersburg

Finland -> Gulf of Bothnia

London -> Norway

North Sea C London -> Norway

English Channel Holds

Portugal S Spain (sc)

Spain (sc) S Western Med.

Western Med. Holds "emphatically"

GERMANY

Gascony S Marseilles

Marseilles Holds

MAO S Western Med.

Ukraine -> Galicia

Bohemia S Ukraine -> Galicia

Warsaw S Ukraine -> Galicia

Silesia S Bohemia

Munich -> Tyrolia (bounce)

Kiel -> Munich (bounce)

ITALY

Aegean Sea -> Constantinople

Bulgaria S Aegean Sea -> Constantinople

Serbia -> Trieste

Vienna -> Budapest

Venice -> Tyrolia (bounce)

Army Group FT -> Marseilles (bounce)

Gulf of Lyon S Army Group FT -> Marseilles

Tyrhennian Sea S Gulf of Lyon

Tunisia S North Africa

North Africa Holds

RUSSIA

Galicia -> Ukraine (unit destroyed)

Stevastopol S Galicia -> Ukraine (support cut)

Romania S Galicia -> Ukraine

Ankara -> Black Sea

Spring 1907 - Countdown

All countries have submitted moves.  The results will be posted this afternoon.

UPDATE:  Sorry, it's been a busy day.  I'll try to have the results up by tomorrow morning.

1906 - Winter Adjustment

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY destroys F-Constantinople

ENGLAND builds A-London

ITALY builds A-Venice

RUSSIA builds A-Stevastopol

TURKEY destroys F-Armenia

Whats the deal?

Is this game going to get a move on soon or something else...

R.I.P.

Also, allow me at last to pay my respects to another fallen nation:

Fall 1906 - Results

No retreats this round.  Winter adjustments will be due by Tuesday at midnight.

MOVES:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY

Tyrolia -> Bohemia (bounce)

Constantinople S Black Sea -> Ankara

ENGLAND

Norway -> St. Petersburg

Finland S Norway -> St. Petersburg

London -> Norway

North Sea C London -> Norway

English Channel Holds

Livonia -> Moscow

Portugal S Spain SC

Spain SC S Western Med.

Western Med. Holds "triumphantly"

GERMANY

MAO S Western Med.

Marseilles Holds

Gascony S Marseilles

Ukraine -> Stevastopol (bounce)

Warsaw S Livonia -> Moscow

Silesia S Munich -> Bohemia

Munich -> Bohemia

Burgundy -> Munich

Kiel S Burgundy -> Munich

ITALY

Vienna S Budapest -> Galicia

Trieste -> Serbia

Bulgaria Holds

Aegean Holds

Army Group FT "curses the handsome 70's porn star it was created to kill and moves to Marseilles" (bounce)

Tyrhennian Sea S Gulf of Lyon

Tunisia S North Africa

North Africa Holds

Gulf of Lyon S Army Group FT -> Marseilles

RUSSIA

Black Sea -> Ankara

Budapest -> Galicia

Moscow -> Stevastopol (unit destroyed)

Romania S Moscow -> Stevastopol

TURKEY

Armenia S Ukraine -> Stevastopol

My software still won't let me export the orders map.

WINTER ADJUSTMENTS:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY controls the following supply centers: Constantinople (1 total).  Austria-Hungary must destroy 1 unit.

ENGLAND controls the following supply centers: Liverpool, Edinburgh, London, Norway, Belgium, Portugal, Sweden, Spain, St. Petersburg, Moscow (10 total).  England may build 1 unit.

GERMANY controls the following supply centers: Berlin, Munich, Kiel, Holland, Denmark, Paris, Brest, Warsaw, Marseilles (9 total).  Germany neither builds nor destroys units.

ITALY controls the following supply centers: Rome, Venice, Naples, Tunisia, Smyrna, Trieste, Greece, Bulgaria, Vienna, Serbia (10 total).  Italy may build 1 unit.

RUSSIA controls the following supply centers: Stevastopol, Romania, Budapest, Ankara (4 total).  Russia may build 1 unit.

TURKEY does not control any supply centers.  Turkey must destroy his last remaining unit.

Choose Your Own Adventure

If one of the following two scenarios does not occur by the end of this game ...

... I will lose all respect for the strategic abilities of our would-be conquerors.

Onward to Victory!

-This picture was taken as Tom tried to lead his Italian armies over the Alps in Switzerland.  It wasn't too long after the photo op that he understood why it is deemed impassible and returned home to eat pizza, drink wine, and cry himself to sleep over his many failures on the western front.-

Victory is upon us.  The armies and navies of England and Germany have a firm grasp of the north with more than enough centers for one of us to win out right.  Italy and its crumbling allies control the south.  Will they be able to hold back the hordes of black and blue armies that are coming their way?  Only time will tell.  But I do know there will not be a stalemate.  And I do know that Tom Mullane shall have no part in a victory in this game.  And so I say onward to victory in whatever manner it presents itself.

Finally, a short piece to all those I have stabbed in the back.  I must say, the list is long.  To Craig, I thank you for helping to pull England and I together.  To Bill, I thank you for making the first big power play and making yourself the target of aggression while Leo and I got to grow bigger and bigger.  To Tom, I thank you for working with Bill until his death.  You made it so easy not to stab my ally in the back, and without you, none of what we accomplished could have been possible.  Finally, to Damian, I thank you for being the most honest player in the game.  When you make a deal, you keep it.  I'm only sorry I couldn't be as honest with you.  But hey, we'll both get to see Bill dead.  And isn't that all we both ever wanted.  So in the end, I just wanted to say no hard feelings to those I've boned this round.  I'm sure karma will catch up with me for the next game.

One of Us Will Win

I heard it from your own lips, Tom: so long as you remain on the board, there will be no draw. Deutschbritannien (the German name for England is Großbritannien) is committed to coming out on top, and there's nothing your stranded but unassailable little army unit in North Africa can do about it but sit helplessly by.

p.s. it's a good thing that most ancient manuscripts are now located in Paris, Cambridge, Oxford or the Vatican. And, if you think you can pry a single vellum scrap from the Vatican's hands to be fuel for your philistine fire, I'd guess again, Benito.

Liberty will reign in the Balkans

(Tony with his official spitoon holder, one of the most interesting perks of stradling the globe.)

I can see the end. But perhaps it is not the end you clown faced goons envisioned. With Tony having crossed the stalemate line and Damain in complete collapse, Bill will soon follow. But I will live.





My impenetrable fortress of revenge fleets stopping Leo's progress, and my scant army choking the Balkans, I am confident I can acheive peace in our time.





ITALY ANNOUNCES THE FOLLOWING CHANGES TO LIFE IN ROME AND THE SURROUNDING EMPIRE:





1. All tea is to be tossed into the harbor


2. no sausages or beer will be served at any meal


3. All rare Latin and Greek Manuscripts will be screamed aloud towards the Spanish coast and then slowly burned with impunity


4. All Flabotomists will be detained, questioned and summarily dragged into the street and shot


5. Anyone with red hair that speaks more than one language will be forced to translate and dub the following movies into as many languages as possible as many times as is necessary to ensure insanity: Moulin Rogue, Pearl Harbor, Meet the Spartans, and the Vagina Monologues.


6. Anyone walking the streets that resembles a 70's porn star will be detained for questioning...and embarassing photographs.








Through no fault of my own, aside from a diplomatic obtuseness, each of my allies in turn have either betrayed me, or vanished in a fountain of blood.





Tony will cross into Russian and Austrian Territory while Italy and the remains of the Russian army try to stem the tide.





Bill will vanish into oblivion curled into a bitter fetal position.





Leo will seize his opportunity and fullfill his destiny as a (apologies) rear admiral.


Or Tony will enact his master plan and....ummm...yeah. Whatever it was he was planning on doing after this point.





But with god as my witness neither will win. If there's one thing Italy's good for it's fucking up all your plans.





ONWARD TO FUTILITY


ONWARD TO NON-SENSICAL NUSAINCE


ONWARD TO....DRAW!

Op Ed Classic - Fall 1903

Ladies and Gentlemen,

For your review I present the prescient excerpts from a letter written to me by the good Archduke some time after he posted the results of Fall 1903, dated August 5. Enjoy!

"...I suspect your gratuitous support of Germany into Brest will be seen as the turning point in this game, the point at which a German victory became all but inevitable. You will gain supply centers out of your bargain with Germany... You will gain Sweden, (probably) St. Petersburg and (eventually) Spain. But with your help against France and Italy, Germany now has no serious opposition on the continent.... Russia won't realize what's happening until it's too late, and I'll be whittled down in the meantime."

 

This one goes out to you Tony stab stab stab Martin

Spring 1906 - Results

No retreats this round.  Moves for Fall 1906 will be due by midnight Friday.

MOVES:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY

Tyrolia S Vienna

Constantinople S Black Sea -> Ankara

ENGLAND

London Holds

Edinburgh -> Norway

North Sea C Edinburgh -> Norway

St. Petersburg SC -> Finland

Livonia -> Moscow (bounce)

Western Med. Holds

Spain SC S Western Med.

Portugal S Spain SC

English Channel

GERMANY

MAO S Western Med.

Marseilles Holds

Gascony S Marseilles

Picardy -> Burgundy

Galicia -> Ukraine

Prussia -> Warsaw

Berlin -> Silesia

Munich -> Bohemia (bounce)

Kiel -> Munich (bounce)

ITALY

Aegean Sea S Constantinople

Bulgaria SC S Constantinople

Vienna -> Bohemia (bounce)

Venice -> Trieste

Army Group FT Holds

Gulf of Lyon S Gascony -> Spain

Tyrhennian Sea S Gulf of Lyon

Tunisia S North Africa

North Africa Holds "Triumphantly"

RUSSIA

Moscow S Prussia -> Livonia

Romania S Budapest

Budapest Holds

Black Sea Holds

TURKEY

Ankara -> Armenia

For some reason, my adjudicator software isn't allowing me to export this round's order screen.  I know you're all very disappointed.

Moves?

When are we posting moves for this round, since things slowed up a bit.

1905 - Winter Adjustment

Sorry for the late posting.

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY destroys A-Bohemia, A-Albania and A-Serbia

ENGLAND builds A-Edinburgh and A-London

GERMANY builds A-Berlin

ITALY builds A-Venice

Tom completes me.

Trapped with a rat

Inset: me in red(left), discussing things with Bill (right)

Let me all just go on a little tear and tell you all what bastards you are.

Do you even know what you've done? can you begin to conceive it?

I hate Bill as much as the next guy, and like all of you when the game began I wanted to see him dead. I wanted to betray him when it would hurt the most. But ALL OF YOU DEPRIVED ME OF THAT OPPORTUNITY. You practically threw me and Bill into each other's arms.

At every turn machinations were in place to ensure that each erstwhile new ally I courted, proceeded to work against me, betray me or bottle me up. Had anyone shown me the least kindness, I would have devoured Bill and most likely exited the game with him. Maybe this is karmic justice for some imagined slight I've paid the community.

I hate Bill. I hate him. One time, I kept calling his phone from a restricted number every half hour throughout the early morning hours to ensure he could never sleep. Another time, I ate 4 bowls of chili before i came over to his apartment so that when I went to the bathroom, there would be no escape from the horror. I also anynomously sent him baby clothes for his birthday with a note from a girl named chloe claiming that he needed to start taking care of his child.

But none of you let me wreck him. we may both be rats, but I deserved better...and god knows he deserved worse.

Fall 1905 - Retreats

GERMANY retreats A-Bohemia -> Galicia.

No - Not out of spite, but out of fairness to other players

Here's the reason I processed as I did, and my problem with giving Damian a break here.  In Fall 1902, Tony submitted the order, "Belgium -> Helgoland Bight."  Tony had no Belgium unit (and Belgium doesn't border Helgoland Bight in any event), but he did have a Holland unit.  When I exercised the judgment as processor not to move his Holland unit instead, it wasn't because I couldn't easily surmise that Tony in fact meant to move his Holland unit.  He couldn't have meant any other unit.  It was because at a certain point -- beyond simple typos and not specifying coasts -- an error in order writing has to become a mistake with consequences.  Submitting an order for the wrong province certainly qualifies.  Order writing is one of the most important parts of the game, on a par with diplomatic relations with other countries.  If you don't pay attention to what you're doing, you can screw up and change the dynamics of the game -- just like any other game.  Tony, to his credit, accepted this, and we all moved on.  (Tony, particularly, moved on and on.)

My declining to move Damian's Black Sea unit was nothing personal.  In fact, it was directly contrary to my own strategic goal, which is (obviously) to prop up Russia's and Italy's defenses.  I didn't give Tony a break when he was a growing enemy.  In the interest of fairness, I simply could not give Damian, an ally, a break in the same exact situation.

WBG

A vote?

I think its safe to say that everyone knows I meant to move the Black Sea to Ankara. Since I have been in Stevastopol for the vast majority of the game going nowhere it was a stupid (and likely costly) mistake. My suggestion is that if everyone know what my move was, despite how I sent it (Bill you knew what my move was anyways) you can all vote for it to stay or change.

1905 - An Illustrated History

DAMIAN SUBMITS ORDERS FOR THE WRONG PROVINCE ...

Above: Damian, suffering from a severe case of (strategic) myopia, refuses to trust his only allies on the board and has thereby cooked his own goose.

ALLOWING TURKEY TO SLIP THROUGH OUR FINGERS...

Above: Matt, File Photo - Summer 2002

AS THE DYNAMIC DUO INCH THEIR WAY TO GLORY

Above: Leo and Tony, BFFs.

Fall 1905 - Results - CORRECTIONS BELOW

Retreats will be due by midnight Sunday.  Winter adjustments will be due by midnight Monday.  Moves for Spring 1906 will be due by midnight Friday.

CORRECTIONS:  Austria-Hungary must destroy 3 units, not 2.  And Tom's unit in Piedmont is still Army Unit FT.  I regret the errors.

MOVES:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY

Vienna -> Bohemia

Tyrolia S Vienna -> Bohemia

Constantinople S Black Sea -> Ankara

Serbia  -> Albania

Bulgaria -> Serbia

ENGLAND

Spain SC -> Gulf of Lyon (bounce)

Portugal -> Spain SC (bounce)

North Africa -> Western Med.

Irish Sea -> English Channel

Norwegian Sea -> North Sea

St. Petersburg -> Livonia

Gulf of Bothnia -> St. Petersburg SC

GERMANY

Silesia -> Prussia

Bohemia -> Vienna (unit dislodged, must retreat or disband)

Kiel S Burgandy -> Munich

Burgandy -> Munich

Paris -> Picardy

MAO S North Africa -> Western Med.

Marseilles Holds

Gascony S Marseilles

ITALY

"FT holds triumphantly in Piedmont throwing excrement over the trench wall"

Trieste -> Vienna

Smyrna -> Aegean Sea

Greece -> Bulgaria SC

Tunisia-> North Africa

Ionian Sea -> Tunisia

Tyrhennian Sea S Western Med. -> Gulf of Lyon

Western Med. -> Gulf of Lyon

RUSSIA

Stevastopol -> Ankara (unit does not exist)

Galicia -> Budapest

Romania S Galicia -> Budapest

Warsaw -> Moscow

TURKEY

Ankara S Black Sea -> Constantinople

RETREATS:

GERMANY must either retreat Bohemia to Silesia or Galicia, or disband the unit.

WINTER ADJUSTMENTS:

AUSTRIA-HUNGARY controls the following supply centers:  Serbia, Constantinople (2 total).  Austria-Hungary must destroy 3 units.

ENGLAND controls the following supply centers:  Liverpool, Edinburgh, London, Norway, Belgium, Portugal, Sweden, Spain, St. Petersburg (9 total).  England may build 2 units.

GERMANY controls the following supply centers:  Berlin, Munich, Kiel, Holland, Denmark, Paris, Brest, Warsaw, Marseilles (9 total).  Germany may build 1 unit.

ITALY controls the following supply centers:  Rome, Venice, Naples, Tunisia, Smyrna, Trieste, Greece, Bulgaria, Vienna (9 total).  Italy may build 1 unit.

RUSSIA controls the following supply centers:  Moscow, Stevastopol, Romania, Budapest (4 total).  Russia neither builds nor destroys units.

TURKEY controls the following supply centers:  Ankara (1 total).  Turkey neither builds nor destroys units.

Fall 1905 - Countdown

All countries have submitted moves.  Stay tuned for the results.

America? FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!