Monday, September 15, 2008

Liberty will reign in the Balkans


(Tony with his official spitoon holder, one of the most interesting perks of stradling the globe.)

I can see the end. But perhaps it is not the end you clown faced goons envisioned. With Tony having crossed the stalemate line and Damain in complete collapse, Bill will soon follow. But I will live.





My impenetrable fortress of revenge fleets stopping Leo's progress, and my scant army choking the Balkans, I am confident I can acheive peace in our time.





ITALY ANNOUNCES THE FOLLOWING CHANGES TO LIFE IN ROME AND THE SURROUNDING EMPIRE:





1. All tea is to be tossed into the harbor


2. no sausages or beer will be served at any meal


3. All rare Latin and Greek Manuscripts will be screamed aloud towards the Spanish coast and then slowly burned with impunity


4. All Flabotomists will be detained, questioned and summarily dragged into the street and shot


5. Anyone with red hair that speaks more than one language will be forced to translate and dub the following movies into as many languages as possible as many times as is necessary to ensure insanity: Moulin Rogue, Pearl Harbor, Meet the Spartans, and the Vagina Monologues.


6. Anyone walking the streets that resembles a 70's porn star will be detained for questioning...and embarassing photographs.








Through no fault of my own, aside from a diplomatic obtuseness, each of my allies in turn have either betrayed me, or vanished in a fountain of blood.





Tony will cross into Russian and Austrian Territory while Italy and the remains of the Russian army try to stem the tide.





Bill will vanish into oblivion curled into a bitter fetal position.





Leo will seize his opportunity and fullfill his destiny as a (apologies) rear admiral.


Or Tony will enact his master plan and....ummm...yeah. Whatever it was he was planning on doing after this point.





But with god as my witness neither will win. If there's one thing Italy's good for it's fucking up all your plans.





ONWARD TO FUTILITY


ONWARD TO NON-SENSICAL NUSAINCE


ONWARD TO....DRAW!

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