You're all lucky

I would just like to inform the powers (or lack thereof) that be, that you should all consider yourselves lucky I will be in the woods this summer, and therefore incommunicado. As all who played last round know now, the feigned stupidity of yours truly can only lead to back-stabs, and improbable come-from-behind silver meddles (sic.) You will all miss my elaborate Imperial Harem receptions, and the gradual incursion of my pointy-arched architecture that reached the largely boring European heartland of Austria and even Italy last round. Good luck to you all, may the dirtiest man win, and above all else, finish what I started and Kill Craig. We'll see how you all enjoy the round without a Turkish Delight.

I now bid you happy hunting, and will be available for counseling from my mansion in Crete where I will be serving time for crimes against humanity, and general buffoonery.

Until the next time Europe finds itself on the brink of war,
this is Turkish Delight, signing off.

P.S. To my inexperienced Turkish successor, for last rounds second place finish, I blame the Armenians. Might I suggest this time around, you attempt a genocide that will be denied for centuries to come. It'll certainly provide good target practice for your Janissaries.