A Lesson in History from one of the world's foremost historians*
Early History: Ah the greatness of Rome, many classicists have pondered this over a pint of 15$ beer and a bad translation of the Odessey. Rome in it's heyday was a pinnacle of civilization, philosophy, engineering, and brutal, brutal corporal punishment. While I don't intend on duplicating the example made of spartacus's followers along the Appian way...it is inspiring to watch that on your way to a skii vacation in the Alps. Of course, Rome would have continued had it not been for killing jesus as well as a few other problems**
The Middle Ages: Following the "mission accomplished banner" placed above Rome following the 8th sacking of the city by visigoths, a new age of peace and prosperity had begun! we call this period the dark ages. (primarily because of increasingly high cloud cover caused by the burning of bodies during the plague, crusades against jews, frequent wars between city states and the crusades.) Italy during this period was a picture of model management, where new ideas (sanctioned by the Papacy only for fear of death) were greated with eager wonder and curiosity (curiosity subject to approval from the papacy)
Age of Imperialism: Italy decided to watch how things were DONE FIRST before jumping into something unprepared...and despite being beaten once....badly...by the Ethiopians, we got our revenge with Hitler's help. And we all know that turned out for the best in the end.
Modern Day: Aside from being associated with corruption and soccer matches so violent fans are no longer allowed to participate in them, Italy has remained the premier power in the Medditeranean between Marsaiiles and Yugoslavia which is north of Malta. An enviable position to be sure.
now that you know my rich and storied history, quake in fear as we do what Italy has done in the past. Sit on the bottom of the pond like a lost boot waiting for some fishermen to catch him and utter a sigh of bitter dissapointment.
*This is a complete lie and fabrications
** among these problems are: spiraling inflation and a collapsing trading system whose labor system was in dissarray following the overdependance on slaves imported from conquest, a decadent and immoral leadership caste which proceeded to further Rome's problems through mismanagement and a wholesale avoidance of the problems facing her government, Autocratic leaders and a lack of representation for the majority in government, encroachments by barbarians, for whom climate change had necessitated them moving south into Roman territory, a disintigrating and increasingly outnumbered military establishment, the spliting of the EMpire into two halves, The rise of superior steppe calvary, and wholesale arrogance of Roman military and policital leaders in the face of a rapidly changing social and global heirarchy.
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1 comment:
Actually, Roman philosophy was pretty much pure crap. The culture, the engineering, the brutal corporal punishment, that was all there. But philosophy? Oh hells no. There's Cicero, and there's Augustine, and I don't even know if the latter counts since he wasn't a pagan. That's it, really. And Cicero's philosophy was hardly profound.
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