You are not unattractive or unloveable because if I was gay, well we won't go there, but you get the idea

Basically we've got Italy, Russia, Germany and England that stand a chance. We find ourselves in a similar situation to the KKK of Alaska where as there is only one black guy in the whole state, Bill, and we have got to get him. However England can't join in and is just playing up north by himself like what's going on down there guys? Now here is where you come in Italy, your domination of the whole Mediterranean has put you in a position to continue that and with my help we can squeeze out Austria. Your gains will be all of the land bordering the Mediterranean that you do not already control, such as Turkey, Trieste and Portugal. My gains will the the lands in northern Austria. Also with my help England will be tied up wasting more turns and units against me allowing you access to his poorly guarded centers. I guess the main thesis here is that together we can squeeze everyone and push up into the heart of the map once we all wipe away Bill because eventually you have to hit the guy with glasses.